Friday, October 26, 2007

Divine Surgery

I'm still in the recovery room from yesterday's staff meeting.

I felt like God placed me on the table and cut me open without anesthetic - only a strong sedative. I'm looking down at the guts of my soul and watching him remove the appendix, gallbladder, perhaps even the spleen as I'm being painfully transformed.

I walked away wounded and groggy thinking - "perhaps I am the culprit instigating an aggravated tension among this handful of passionate leaders." The newest member of the group comes riding in on a fertile stallion with heightened nobility and blissful ignorance defending the founder. He later asks critical questions that fall on the one he defended - the same types of questions asked again and again without answers by the one who writes these words - yea, factors that lead toward my loss of respect and regard.

The main challenge was - If there can be no trust of the one God has placed in the primary leadership role, then it's time to move one. I listen as I fight off the cynical thoughts in my head wishing to exit my mouth "I'm working on it" or "5 others have done
just that since I've been here. So where's the problem?" But the Words through a man named James restrain me.

So - I'm on antibiotics and pain meds (keeping my metaphoric tone) processing what this means.

Undespairingly perplexed,


For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
-2 Cor 4:17&18

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